Jyoti Gujaran
THINK POSITIVE! THINK POSITIVE! THINK POSITIVE!
We are always told THINK POSITIVE! for things to fall in place. Despite this we have noticed that there are a lot of people who are unable to follow it completely due to different thinking styles.
Varied thinking styles may lead to different types of behaviour which may or may not be the desired behaviour. To bring about changes in behaviour the client may then seek the help of a therapist.
Let’s discuss a case here. A mother comes to a therapist saying that her six year old son is all “over the place” in her words. He does not listen to anybody at all. He does not listen to parents at home, teachers in school etc. He only wants to keep talking all the time. After the initial rapport building in the first session , the therapist in the second session asks the client “ does he listen to no one at all?. The client replies “If I tell him to do something lovingly without shouting then he will listen. He needs some cajoling but then he does it” After the boy of 6 years , the client has twins . The age gap between the first son and the twins is approximately 3 years. The client notices the changed behaviour in her older son from approximately the last 6 months.
The client seems to be reacting instead of responding to the older child as she has multiple responsibilities with the twins. It is very important that the therapist is aware of the diversity in thinking so we are prepared to address the concerning issue.
Let us understand
a few of these thinking styles which are not very helpful in our day to day lives
- FILTERING:
- , MIND READING:
- CATASTROPHIZING
- PERSONALISATION
- FAIRNESS FALLACY
- CHANGE FALLACY
- OVERGENERALIZATION:
- LABELLING
- I AM ALWAYS RIGHT:
Occasionally we all may be guilty of these unhelpful styles of thinking. But for some any of the above it may be their everyday style of thinking due to which problems and discomforts are experienced by self and those associated with them
Before talking it is better that we think and respond then just react to it. Stop. Pause for a minute before you retort back. Give your thoughts a moment to process the information. Then RESPOND. This is called MINDFUL THINKING. If we cultivate the habit of Mindful Thinking , it will become second nature to us and our day to day existence will be much easier for us and our loved ones.
So let’s make MINDFUL THINKING the norm of the day.
